My Mother's Earrings: A Lesson in Compassion

   

     "Farhan can you please help me with my earrings?" I rushed over to my mother to help her out. We were running late for an event and pressed for time. This was becoming the norm in our household as my mother is elderly and slowing down a lot these days. In the past  I'd be in a huff asking her to hurry. I"d be looking at the watch as I quickly assist with her jewellery. She can't hold small things like the backing of an earring and finds it difficult to clasp her necklace or watch. I've just gotten into the habit now of helping her with these things. But this particular day something changed in a way I'll never forget. I've consciously been working on seeing people with compassionate eyes and being present. I set the intention a few weeks ago to be more compassionate after watching an episode of Super Soul Sunday with Oprah Winfrey. On this episode, author Karen Armstrong stated that the world needed more compassion. That message really resonated with me. So I started a daily ritual of seeing at least one person, usually a stranger with compassion. I'd focus on them  and wonder "what is their story?" What have they gone through in life?" Only on this particular day  it was with my mother.
 
      I helped her first with her right earring and as my hand touched her ear lobe I had flash back to when my grandmother passed away. I was very close to my mom's mom and when she passed I was fortunate to be by her side. She kept the gaze of her eyes strictly on me holding my hand taking her last breathes as though still trying to hold on in that last moment. I gave her permission to let go and have her soul depart from her physical body. I felt the wave of peace as she took her last breath and closed her eyes ever so gently just like the gentle soul that she was. I was asked to remove her earrings as the ambulance was coming to take her. I remember how it felt to feel her earlobes as I removed them. They were cold, soft but lifeless. All of sudden it was like a polarizing moment in my life. My sense of time suddenly seemed more important but not becuase of the clock but because of this moment and the treasure that came with it. One that I would never forget.
     
     I payed closer attention to how my moms ears felt as I helped her with each earring. I came to be  totally present and in the moment. My senses made note of each ear. The colour, the temperature and softness.  I put on her watch and as I saw her hands I wondered all the things she had touched in her lifetime? What did it all mean to her? How was she really affected by everything she went through? . I thought about all the things she did in her life time with her hands such as holding me as a baby, the many meal preparations, and the way she touched so many people over the years. These were just some of thoughts that  were crossing my mind. I made note of the scent of her perfume. She was wearing Angel as she always did but this time I tried to take that scent and place it my memory bank.

             "Can you please tie up the back of my dress?" Her dress had a two strings that tied at the back of her neck that helped keep the dress together.  I wanted to remember every detail. The colour, embroidery and the fabric. After I tied it together I put my hands on her shoulder and in my mind I said "thank you God."

              The simple task of helping my mother get dressed became one of my biggest lessons for compassion and living in the present. To this day she is my greatest teacher. What I took away from this experience will always stay with me. She may not even realize it but she offered me the chance to know and appreciate her in a way I had never before. I felt like we shared a breathe together and was grateful for the time when she was breathing for me.

           What I can say with certainty is that compassion is a door way to experience the divine. It is the pathway to live each moment to it's fullest with gratitude. It allows us to feel peace and forgiveness for others and especially ourselves.  It brings people closer together. It heals anger, jealousy and hatred. It is proof that every moment in time, every experience and every breath is a miracle.

Angel Blessings to ALL