Monday, January 25, 2016

2016 "The Year of My Voice"

I've declared 2016 as the year of "My Voice." My intention is to create a field of energy potential that is empowering by using my voice to express myself in healthy ways. For so many years I felt like I couldn't express myself. My voice was shut off from abuse and being told to 'be quiet." I grew up feeling like what I said didn't matter. But now I've chosen to speak up! To say what matters to me because I matter. Little did I know the universe was orchestrating on my behalf to give me the platform to serve my intention.

Last summer I had reoccurring dreams that I was back on stage travelling and speaking at various fitness conventions. I had taken time away to regroup what I wanted to teach but also because of various family matters that required a lot of my energy and attention. I knew that I missed being on stage and longed to get back on the circuit of presenting. I missed the energy, instant validation and connection with a live audience. Something which social media lacks for me. Well one day after yet another dream I ran into the vice president of CanFitPro (The Canadian Fitness Professionals Association). Now I don't believe in coincidences and so I knew that literally a collision of a chance meeting at a local shopping mall was part of a greater plan. He asked what I had been up to? After briefing him on what has kept me away from presenting I said I was considering returning. He asked me to send him my session descriptions of what I'd like to present and well long story short I just got an email today that I'm on the schedule to speak at CanFitPro 2016 in Toronto!

So you might be thinking "well that's great but you have been presenting prior to that already so how why is this year about you're voice?" The answer is simple.

with Marla Ericksen

I'm finally in a place in my life where I am comfortable with talking about the things that matter to me in a way in which doesn't involve shame and fear of judgement. All the stages I've presented on in my past have prepared me for the ones I'm going to be on this year. And the universe is making it all happen. CanFitPro is only one of the many platforms I'll be using to express my truth and taking about what matters to me. And my new list of topics reflects this. So now I'm gearing up to speak and present topics that are closer to me. I'm very excited and looking forward to all that lies before me! How does it get better then this?

Angel Blessings

Friday, January 22, 2016

The Transformation of My Anger And Rage

Growing up I was never allowed to express myself. I was shut down. Told to be quiet. I was bullied and abused and when I tried to express my feelings I was told to be a better person and not say anything. I was hurt frustrated, angry and then over the years it cultivated like I was over stalk piled with all these negative emotions. I became a volcano waiting to explode. Whenever the anger surfaced or wanted to be expressed I continued to suppress it. It was the only pattern of behaviour in which I knew how to deal with it. I called that being "non confrontational." Inside I knew I was walking time bomb. Only now it got to the point where there was no more space in body to store and keep the anger. I needed an outlet. A safe outlet. I need to let out how I was feeling. The hurt, the anger from all the abuse and bullying. I couldn't contain it anymore. 

I was ashamed about how I felt. On the outside I was "Farhan who always keeps it together, so calm so centred." which is true. I am that person. But I'm also human and in need of expressing that part of me that weighs me so heavily.  I was afraid of judgement. On the inside I was beginning to crumble. Not feeling like I had permission to express all the good, the bad and the ugly. But I'm just like everyone else. No better, no different.

I reached out to my dear friend Noreia Sacoor, a gifted healer, a soul sister and someone I knew could help me heal my wound. I also knew that this wound was not just mine, Collectively I was carrying it for everyone in the lineage of my family past, present and future. I needed to break that pattern, release the anger and heal it in all directions of time. A tough pre-birth contract I had agreed to. Noreia said my anger needed to be heard, it had a voice that was longing to be expressed. Without any coincidence I had already declared that 2016 is to be the year of my voice. To declare my personal power by using my voice to express and speak. 

"I have the right to speak." 

is my affirmation for this year. For everyone that took my voice away, that told me to be quiet and made me think that what I had to say didn't matter I reclaim my voice. I choose to own what is mine and use it as tool to speak my truth with transparency.

And so to ceremoniously release my rage, to unleash my anger to be free from the toxicity that has plagued me for so long I went to the "The Rage Cage" in Toronto and I broke, smashed and destroyed objects into dust leaving no trail behind and wanting every cell in my body to feel only the peace I long for. The peace I was born with and the peace that is my truest self.

To all my bullies, abusers and to the witness that saw and did nothing to defend me I simply say "thank you." I took every wound and turned them all into my treasures. I chose to see it as fuel to move ahead in life, strike after my dreams and manifest everything I chose for in my life and continue to do so. It never broke me.  I know that the strength of my alignment with my true source and that is my only Source allows me to succeed at everything. In God I be today and in God I be always. I choose peace for myself. I pray there be peace for all.